Mine Little Pony: Portal Malfunction
by SquidBloop
Summary: It's just an ordinary day in Ponyville. There are pegasi clearing the sky, apples in the market, and Sugarcube Corner is bustling with customers. What happens when an End Portal is lined with Golden Apples? In the middle of the night, a "Farlander Portal" appears in the middle of the sky, and with it a variety of beasts...but who is the Hooded One and what is his green book?
1. The Stronghold

**Mine Little Pony: Apples In The End**

THIS STORY IS IN FIRST-PERSON FOR VIRUS (me) AND THIRD-PERSON FOR PONIES. ABOUT 2 MC CHAPTERS, THEN 1 MLP: FIM CHAPTER AND VICE-VERSA.  
There's room for requested characters, just tell me what you want to do. If you don't you might get blown up by a Creeper or disappear in the woods.

I threw another Eye of Ender with all my might. The glittering green orb soared about one hundred meters forward, and then exploded in a burst of purple dust. The shattered pieces of the Eye fell to the ground, and I groaned. I had already lost 12 Eyes of my 32-stack. If they kept blowing up like this, I'd probably run out of both Eyes and cobblestone marking my path. I pitched another Eye into the air. It soared into the air…and sunk into the earth. A cow was blankly staring at the area where the Eye had gone in. I stared at it in turn, and it mooed. A bow materialized in my hands, and nocking a black-fletched arrow to the string, I let loose. The cow went tumbling head over heels, and I cut a few slices of steak from it. Steak was such a delicious thing. I suddenly remembered what I was here for, and I dug a small square in the dirt. I kept going on and on, past stone, coal, and iron. I even found a vein of gold going down into the earth. Suddenly, the weathered head of my diamond pickaxe sunk into some stone brick. I dug out a little more, and a squirming grey insect fell to the ground. I stared at the blasted thing, and shot it with an arrow. I had found the correct room; a yellowish End Portal sat above a pool of lava. How it can withstand even the strongest explosion in this land is surprising.

What a stupid portal. To go through all this hassle to find a tiny little portal that does little more than send you to a land in the sky? I kicked the frame in boredom. There was little more around this dreary little stone room than some iron bars and random pools of lava. I was wondering who built this ugly little shrine to a foreign god. There was a little chest and an old bed nearby, probably left by a long-gone miner. A few cyan shirts and two pairs of jeans were hanging from a tripwire. A pair of shoes was sitting next to a pool of lava, presumably to dry. This scene was just so…depressing.

What happened to this miner? Did a sickly green corpse chop his head off with an old sword? Was he eviscerated by one of the giant spiders in this land? Was it that a pile of reanimated bones destroy him with a quick shot to the head? Was he disintegrated in this cave system by one of the feared Creepers? Or, did a group of ethereal Endermen surround him and slowly tear him limb from limb, speaking in their distorted voices, as the sinews in his flesh slowly severed, with the howl of agony piercing the darkness? I shuddered and ransacked the chest. The wooden box contained: Two loaves of bread, one iron pickaxe, six cowhides, 12 iron ingots, a furnace, a crafting table, three blocks of wool, 59 wooden planks, 17 lumps of coal, a chainmail helmet, two pairs of leather boots, a bucket of water, an old flint and steel, 72 fire charges, and one Ghast tear. I hated to think of the Ghasts, eternally crying in sorrow, emaciated, skeletal faces screaming in suffering. Suddenly, a little, nagging doubt appeared in the back of my mind. With it came the memories of trade, woodcutting, digging, combat, building, destruction, wildfires, massive explosions, and a little home in the woods._ Go back,_ it seemed to mutter. _Complete the project you have always wanted—to build your own castle and govern the Testificates. Make them bow to you._

No. I was going to conquer the Ender Dragon, destroy the beast that so many others had before me. Suddenly, a spider crawled in through the doorway. It leaped onto my back, and started biting and scratching. I panicked a bit, and flailed around with my glistening diamond sword. I always made sure that my sword was in good condition, and I constantly repaired it. It managed to pull some of the contents of my inventory out of my bag before I smashed it with the flat of my blade. I forced it to yield, and the fact that I had tamed a giant spider slowly dawned upon me. No…it was not possible. By Notch's shaved beard, I had defied the laws of nature. The evidence was right there; a perfectly tame spider, reclining on the stone brick floor in front of me. I pointed the sword at upwards, and the out the entrance. It seemed to understand, as it scratched, "GoIng to TEzticATe VillGe" in the dust on the floor. Before the little creature left, however, it dropped a green book and a pencil. How strange. I felt like I knew these objects, and as I flipped through the pages, I discovered it was completely blank. What caught my eye, however, was the front page. It simply said, "Write in here, and I will give you what you desire." I just put it away and went around picking up my things. As I was putting away my diamonds, however, I noticed Eyes of Ender lying on the floor. The spider had never made me drop Eyes of Ender. I looked at the portal. In the very first slot lay a Golden apple, which had replaced the Eye.


	2. Manhunt

**Mine Little Pony: Foreign Entities**

Sorry if the last chapter was kinda crappy. Sorry if your feelings were hurt in this chapter.

There it was—a Golden Apple, in a slot where only Eyes of Ender should have gone. I decided to accept it and filled the other slots. A portal opened, but not a cosmic black one—this portal was a gateway to another world, inside a place that seemed to be a home. A DJ turntable was up against a wall. What else did I have to do? I stored my inventory inside an Ender Chest, made another spare, and jumped in.

I was right—the portal led inside a home. I fell out of the invisible portal with a thud on the floor. There was clearly what seemed to be a kitchen, a refrigerator, and a few doors. A lock clicked and I heard the clop of hooves. Clop? There were no such animals with hooves that clopped on the floor. It confirmed I was out of my element—this was not the world I knew. A door opened and a head poked out. It was white, with a small horn on its head and a blue mop of hair. "What is going on out there? Is somepony out there?! By Discord's beard! What the heck are you?"

I panicked. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" I heaved the Splash Potion of Harming II as hard as I could at the tiny quadruped. It screamed in pain and I dug through the earth and resealed the hole. I had to get out of this place! Above me, I heard more hooves. I decided to dig upwards and see what was going on. I took my pickaxe out and broke through the cobblestone road. I poked my head out of the little hole I had made. A large regiment of quite large creatures, similar to the small one I had assaulted, was running over the street. Some had large, leathery wings and others had horns as well. One turned and noticed me.

Crap. It was already pretty obvious that this would be a manhunt until I was either behind bars or in pieces.

"There's the bogey, just as Vinyl Scratch described! Get it!" one of the beasts shouted. It would be a good idea to try using the sketchpad. I wrote, WALL in the book. A massive iron wall appeared in front of me, and I saw the dent as the creature crashed into it. "This is insane! Even Starswirl the Bearded couldn't just summon a wall this big!" The wounded animal groaned. I just continued running. I wrote, POTION OF INVISIBILITY EXTENDED TIME in the book. Just as I expected, the light blue bottled potion appeared in my hand. It swirled around the bottle, but my iron wall hadn't stopped the winged monsters for long. One popped out from behind the barricade and I shot an arrow at it. It dodged, which was long enough for it to drop its guard and I drank my potion. I hid in a small cave while the things looked around. "Where the hell is that beast?!" one shouted. Beast yourself. "I have no bucking idea! It just vanished!" One that seemed more important commanded, "Split up and search. We'll get it in no time." It was already pretty obvious that this was a horrible idea to come to this world. I ran around and around and around. Either these things had good smell, night vision, or my eyes were glowing, because somehow, they caught up to me. "There it is! Catch him!" The speaker seemed to have a low rank, as I could see it being reprimanded by the captain. The leader went with a few select others, apparently. I just huddled behind a tree and felt like a coward.

Nope. I was not going to sit here like a baby. I placed the spare Ender Chest and was relieved to see that items teleported to even this dimension. I only needed three things of my inventory, and that was a iridescent blue sword with a purple sheen, a longbow with a purple sheen, and a quiver of arrows. The creatures were closing in on me. I am not going to give up without a fight, and I nocked an arrow to my bow and let loose. And again. And again. And again. And again. I remembered the book. I pulled it out and wrote, DIAMOND ARMOR. I got a full set of it. I got an idea, and I drank another potion of Invisibility. I wrote, WALKTHROUGH. Sure enough, a book with details of this land appeared in my hands. I decided to hide in a cave and read.


	3. The Shadow

**THREE MONTHS EARLIER…  
**Sorry this one seems kinda shitty, I've been sick.

Something poked into Captain Shockwave's flank. A voice called, but it seemed distant. "Sir! Wake up! Please wake up!" He had been dreaming about something. It seemed vivid, but he was sure it was a dream. He had been partying with a bunch of other guards, was dominating everyone in Black Trot 2, and was drinking some pretty good tea Zecora brewed, then someone yelled about a bogey in Ponyville, and a full bottle of cider smashed him over the head. He groaned and slowly got to his feet, noticing all the abandoned helmets, cups, spilled cider, and the forlorn controllers. The game still seemed to be going, but he didn't care.

"So, this entire party wasn't a dream?" he muttered to himself. "This was real, and now I'm needed?"

"What do you think, you dummy?" the pony next to him remarked. His wingpony and younger sister. "We've all been waiting for you! The troops are mustered outside. Corporal Sparkwind brained you with a bottle of cider in his rush." No wonder. That pony just couldn't even take a bit of time to be careful.

"Second Lieutenant Tornado Smasher, get the hell out of here this moment." With that, the seasoned pegasus got to his feet and flew outside as fast as possible. The troops were grumbling about how late he was, but eventually their voices died down as an eerie laugh drifted over the wind. "Hurry up and let's get to Ponyville, people could be getting hurt as we speak." The entire regiment of soldiers disappeared like smoke in the night skies.

MEANWHILE, AT PONYVILLE…

What was going on could be described as pure chaos. A black pony, as dark as the corner completely void of light, was leisurely flying around, three heads with soulless blank eyes and demonic grins raining ashen black skulls on the town. Ponies fled in terror and screamed as the skulls exploded on impact with their homes, shattered market stalls, and simply just drained the very life out of the town. With every blast, a silhouetted bipedal figure laughed. "_!ytsuD, tohs eciN"_ it said after Twilight Sparkle barely missed her demise by fleeing the crumbling library.

"I swear to Dinnerbone, Herobrine, that I will drop you off this saddle if you call me that again."

"_.rehtiW, revetahW"_ Herobrine said. He was notorious in another world as an evil deity, but a malfunctioning portal sent him here, and he met a horse-like Wither. It had taken some time to settle, as physics were considerably different. For one example, things weren't square. They were also round. Trees didn't hover when he cut out a section, they just fell. However, he found out that punching an object would force it to obey the laws he was familiar with, after trying to get rid of the lightning bolts he had written in some soil while trying to till it. Another thing was the caves. There were no familiar zombies. There were no Creepers. There were no skeletons. There were no spiders. He did have spawn eggs, though, and he knew from personal experience that more hostiles spawned around others. The ore frequency was much different than the one he was used to, however, as coal was scarce. Not even iron was frequent. Diamonds and gold littered the walls, and emeralds, sapphires and rubies stuck out here and there. Where were the nightmarish labyrinthine Strongholds? Where were the winding abandoned mineshafts? He chose to ignore the fact that nothing existed. Aboveground, things were more unnerving. What the fuck was wrong with this world!? Candy-colored ponies half as tall as him with markings on their haunches? A stupid moon that stayed up for about nine hours and a sun that was in the sky for fifteen? No cows or pigs or sheep or chickens or Testificate Squidwards? It just bored him to death.

"Halt! State your business, you monster!" A voice rang out through the night, pleasing Herobrine, as it sounded like the speaker had authority. Authority meant that he had something to fight.

"_.ton rehtar d'I ?ssenisuB"_ he said, in his usual sarcastic voice. He had no intention of backing down, and was armed to the teeth and ready to kill.

"Wow. This bipedal freak and his pegasus thinks he can take us all down? What an idiot!" Corporal Sparkwind remarked.

"_gabehcoud, elbatcepser etiuq m'I ?kaerF_" Herobrine replied. What a bitch!

"Enough talk. Let's fight. Either you leave us or leave as a corpse."

"You are wanted by order of Princess Luna for causing mass destruction and chaos. Surrender now or we will be forced to-" Second Lieutenant Tornado smasher never finished, because an arcing black skull flew through the air and exploded in the middle of a small group of Royal Guardponies. Pegasi flew through the air from the force of the weak blast with some shouts and yells, and a bit of creative language.

"._citehtaP_" Herobrine remarked as medics flew around, finding the wounded and dead and putting them on stretchers. His plan? Meet other evil beings and conquer this weak, colorful world. Soon, it would be a mirror image of the post-apocalyptic world he had created in Minecraft World.


End file.
